frustrations and a welfare check – followed by explanation

Well, we survived our welfare check.  Now to wait for the report and determination.

I am satisfied with what I think of the visit with social services.

I am frustrated with what I see as someone trying to discredit myself, my wife and our family through lies and innuendo.  By filing a neglect and abuse complaint they wasted valuable time of some very important people.  I am not talking about me.  I am talking about the staff at social services.  Well, wasted isn’t the right word.  I am proud of their response to this whole situation.  I am proud that they take these complaints seriously and make the visit.  We weren’t so proud of the decision last year when the complaint that was filed on David’s behalf came back as “no services required.”  That complaint was against the school.  We didn’t file it.  Someone else did.  The complaint at that time alleged that they were improperly restraining him, among other things.

The complaints as I understand them were:

Clutter.
Locks on doors and cupboards.
Dimly lit rooms.
an “animal smell”
and my blog.  Yep.  someone is upset about my blog.  I have my guesses as to who it is, but that is immaterial for the purposes of this entry.

Let’s address the clutter.  On the day in question, our family was doing laundry after the Easter break.  We had had company all weekend, and were in the process of recovering from that company.  When you have a family of seven, you generate a lot of laundry, every single day.  Sorry if my laundry offends you.

David is obsessive compulsive.  He takes things, he hoards food.  He hoards cat food.  In order to protect him and everyone else in the house, we have locks on our cupboards and fridge.  All of David’s caseworkers are aware of this fact.  I am on disability, couple that with my wife’s income, and we don’t have a lot of extra money to be leaving our cupboard open for him to steal food and hide it in his room. As far as the doors are concerned.  Of course we have locks on our doors.  If you had a child with OCD whose fascination included any electronic gadget he can get his hands on, you would have locks on your doors too.  Why invite trouble?  This keeps David honest. Sure he still gets stuff, but not nearly as much as he would if our house were wide open and everything was available to him.

Yes, David has eaten cat food.  Yes, David has spit out his meds.  Yes, David has done this and that.  If you would take the time necessary to get properly involved in his case, and allow him to return to the place that is his right to be, then you would know how we are dealing with these things.  Yet you insist that you know what is right for David.  That you know what is right for my family, and that you know how I should raise my family.  We have a whole team of people involved in his care, for some reason you don’t want to be members of the team.  Why is that?

A powerful light shines in the dark.

Inadequate lighting.  I have a number of health conditions that have rendered me sensitive to light.  What would you have me do?  We don’t live in the dark.  But yes, it is dimly lit in our house.  Maybe you should get all of the facts about a situation before you make assumptions.  also, you have seen my house, have you noticed that there aren’t a lot of windows in the house that open to the outdoors?  I didn’t build the house this way, I bought it this way.  With my health the way it is, I can’t make the changes that I had planned.

Blog.  Yes, the blog.  I know of only one entity that really dislikes my blog.  As we have said before, if you don’t like what is posted here, don’t read it.  I have a lot of stress in my life.  In fact, our whole family does.  One of the ways that I deal with it is through this blog and the people I reach.  I find it reprehensible that you won’t do your job, and are trying to dictate how I do mine.  Granted my job is much more involved than yours.  I am a stay at home dad on disability.  Nothing more, nothing less.

In the last 3 months we have lost key members of our family support structure.  Two members of this team died.  The third had their own reasons for leaving the team.  Your excuse is what?

David deserves the opportunity to succeed or fail in your environment on his own merits.  Yet you won’t give him the chance.  You hide behind your self-righteous pious concept that you are doing what is right for David.  Are you really?

I don’t have all of the answers. However, I do know that we wake up everyday and give David a chance.  We wake up everyday with all of the hopes a parent can have.  Some days are outstanding. Some days are not.  But isn’t every child’s life like that?

One more thing.  I didn’t name anyone except David in this entry.

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