Feeling helpless with Mental Illness.

There are days when I feel utterly helpless when it comes to David.  He is 500 miles from home.  David

Last week we celebrated David attaining a new level in his care plan.  He has been doing very well.

Then came the self-doubt.  The “I am not good enough” thoughts.  And the treatment sabotage began.

Today I received a call.

David disappeared on his care team.  Took more than 10 minutes of searching to find him.  Once they found him, he informed staff that he was going to harm himself.  He indicated that he had items in his room that he could use.  So staff searched his room.

Now, knowing how well David is able to hide things, it doesn’t surprise me that they couldn’t find anything.  He may not have anything hidden in his room. However, it is very likely that he does have stuff in his room with which he can harm himself.

As a result of that information, the staff has placed David on a close watch plan for at least the next 24 hours, and likely into Tuesday.

I love the little guy.  It just breaks my heart that he has to deal with these things in his world.

One of the only things that David can control about his world is his diet.  He has had times this past month where he refuses to eat.  As a result, he has lost weight. He weighs about 80 pounds.  He is 5 feet tall.  His metabolism is such that he needs food, else his body will start to eat itself from within.

So as I write, this, I ask for prayers from my readers for my son, whom you have never met.  For my family, as we worry from afar.

Update!  David is in a better place mentally today. No longer thinking of hurting himself.

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