a very real fear this Christmas

Just received the weekly report that encompasses all of the week not just the immediate emergence of chronic cases.

Today was another “off” day.

David destroyed a bunch of recently created Christmas decorations that his peers had made.  Evidently he was upset.

He did a number of other things, including trying to run away.  He destroyed some carpet in the lower level of the lodge, he unplugged a bunch of computers in his classroom.  He has been generally combative.  He broke into the refrigerator and stole a bunch of Pediasure.  Drank all of them.  He has threatened to kill staff.  There is so much more, that  I feel overwhelmed by the details of it all.

To be fair to David, it seems that all of the peers in his unit or lodge are struggling right now.  Since all of the kids with him have an Autism diagnosis of some type, I imagine in can be pretty rough.

I made the comment that regardless of the Autism, we still need to hold him accountable for his actions.  Staff agreed.  They indicated that he knows right from wrong.  He knows that what he is doing will get him into trouble.  He believes that one of two things will happen.  He will get discharged, and move either home or closer to it, or he will get moved to a different lodge.

He isn’t right for a different lodge.  He is smaller than all of the other residents in that lodge, he is younger, he is unstable.

He won’t be coming home.  At least not soon.  As much as I would love for him to be home, it isn’t safe for anyone to let that happen.  And I include David in that measure of safety.   If he is pushing limits of the professionals who care for him in the facility, where they have enough staff to provide one to one care for David at all times if necessary, what would happen if we brought him home where we can’t do that level of care?

I thanked the staff for the update, thanked them for sticking with him. And then I asked one very important question.

“How long, before your facility decides that they can’t help him any longer?”  I know that as his primary, this isn’t a question that she could answer.  It isn’t her place to say.  She said that she thinks that is a valid concern for me to have.

my fear is that he will move further away from the family.  How will this help his Autism? His Reactive Attachment Disorder?

I can’t “just let go” of my son.  He is my son.  Doesn’t matter that he is adopted.  He has been in our lives for almost all of his.

I remember when I was a teen, the Band Aide Song.  Do They Know It’s Christmas?  Remember it?

All I want for Christmas?  Safety and well-being for David, all kids with mental health issues, and my family.

Oh and here is the video for “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”



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