Monthly Archives: July 2015

Frustration, Frustration, Frustration ahead.

Joel Osteen Being frustrated, wondering when things are going to change isn't going to make it happen any faster. Be happy right where you areI am frustrated.

Well beyond frustrated, and I am trying to work through it.

What it amounts to is this.

We are trying to get David services.  So the facility that he was in two and a half years ago was approached.  Again.  We are trying to get them to rethink their denial.

At any rate.

The basic reason that they won’t accept him for care?

Blame the parents.  We aren’t doing enough.  When he was there two years ago, we didn’t do enough.  We didn’t participate in family therapy.  We didn’t do this, we didn’t do that.

After all of that was refuted, they blamed David.  Said it was because he was too aggressive.  That he didn’t do this therapy or that.

Again we refuted their blame.

Will this result in a bed?  I don’t know.

What I would like to do is for someone to make me a list of all of the things that I am supposed to do.  I will have each item checked off and signed off by whomever at whatever agency or facility indicating that the item was completed.  When the list is finished, maybe we can get on with providing David the services and care he needs.

Why do people always blame the parents?

Sure there are times it is the fault of the parents, but I assure you, this is not one of those times.

I am not looking for a magic cure.  I know that isn’t a realistic option.  But dammit, doesn’t anyone hold themselves accountable?

Sure we didn’t do the family therapy at this facility. Why?  Because it was scheduled at 9am most of the time, a time when mom and the rest of the kids were all in school or at work.  Am I supposed to disrupt every aspect of life because the facility can’t provide services when it is convenient for a family coming from an hour away?

Today I learned that some important people involved in David’s case made an appeal directly to the facility in question.  This shouldn’t be necessary.  yet it is.

So I ask this question.

What does the average parent do that doesn’t have a voice?  That doesn’t know to call and annoy the hell out of people to get help for their child?  That doesn’t have a blog like this one to write about the foibles and misadventures of navigating a mental health care system that can drive the sanest person mad with anger?

I don’t know what to do.  What I do know is that I don’t want my family to become statistics on the evening news because someone doesn’t want to do their job.

Tomorrow I will sign more releases of information forms at agencies that already have releases on file so that records can be sent to people who should already have said records but don’t because some people don’t want to do the work.

I am frustrated.  Maybe the time is now to explore legal options to get agencies to help.

Medications

Every night we have difficulty getting him to take his medications. If he isn’t pouring water all over everything, he is dropping his medicine on the floor. He gets distracted and has to cuddle the animals during medicine time. So we have to hold onto him and drop the pills in his mouth.  Then rub… Continue Reading

trying something new part II

In trying something new, I described efforts we were undergoing to change how we respond to David, and how we let him affect us. Yesterday, we were given an added tip or coping mechanism. Laughter.  When angry we should laugh more, because it is difficult to be angry while laughing. On one hand, I think… Continue Reading

911. Out of control child

We were blessed with the appearance of one of the sisters for the night.  David has 2 brothers and 2 sisters.  The sisters generally don’t come around because of him, as is their right. So we were doing the family thing, supper.  David got upset with me because I wouldn’t let him have pie without… Continue Reading

trying to do something different

We are trying desperately to change the way we respond to David. Trying not to feed into his moods. Trying to ignore his “little” behaviors. Trying to ignore the digs and insults. Trying to ignore the “affection” he shows the pets. It is a struggle. Today, I was in the city for an appointment.  The… Continue Reading

Believing in the reason of David

As we come up on the 12th anniversary of the finalization of David’s adoption into our family, I look back on our life with him. From the first computer he ever worked on, a Compaq laptop running Windows 2000, to the many sleepless nights. I am struck by one inalienable concept. We were brought into… Continue Reading