feeling broken down.

I have to admit.  I am struggling.

I am struggling with caring about someone who has no caring for the people around him.  I am tired of being lied to, stolen from and feeling like I am robbing my children of their childhood.

I am struggling with my health again.  I don’t want to go back to the place where heart events and strokes happen.  I am not giving up.  I am just trying to take care of me a little better.

At this point we are in a holding pattern held hostage by behaviors.  Sure we shouldn’t feel like this, we shouldn’t let the way he is control everything about our world, but what else is there?    We can’t leave him alone, because he does things and takes things that aren’t his. We can’t leave one of the boys in charge, since he would hurt them.  I don’t dare hire a sitter for him, since there aren’t many that we trust and that would ever come back again.  We get mentor support, and he is in school now so that alone will help.

I am going to take a short break from writing, as I don’t trust my thoughts right now.

I appreciate all of the support that I get from each of you that send me comments.  Those of you that write back out of concern with thoughts and ideas about things to try, your support means the world to me, to my family.

This isn’t goodbye.