the adjustment period

It is always an adjustment to life when the structure of the home environment changes.

It has been a couple of weeks since he has been home, and I still find myself getting up at all hours to check on him. Unable to sleep at night, I find that even when I force myself to be awake during the day time, it is difficult for me to sleep at night.  I may have to seek medical help to get past that.

I wonder if my therapist can recommend something.

I don’t know.  Maybe the most difficult thing is that some days I think that this is all a dream and that he is going to come marching in the door, say “I want a snack!” and then we are right back where we were a month ago.

Even as he was entering his second year away from home during his last placement, I had trouble sleeping at night.  This is really nothing new.

I find myself looking for him during the day time too.  Checking if he is in a room he shouldn’t be in.  That kind of thing. I hear noises in the house and if I am half asleep, just entering the land of nod, I find myself startled to full awake and looking all over. Sometimes, even shouting his name to get him to come to me.

Ah well.  I will adjust.  It just takes some time.

While he is in placement, there isn’t a lot to write about.  I won’t write about what I learn through the therapy stuff we do with him, as I don’t feel that is right.  If he injures himself purposely, or in some way harms another, I will write about that.  I don’t know the difference, to me, self injury needs to be brought to the forefront of the human psyche, as I am sure a lot of people have no idea that someone they know could be purposely hurting themselves.

Instead, I will write about things that I think about in regards to having a child like ours.  I will write about current events around children’s issues, and mental health awareness.  There have been a few things in the news recently that just make me shake my head.

But like I said at the beginning.  Having him in placement is an adjustment.  Not just for me, but for the whole family.



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