It is always an adjustment to life when the structure of the home environment changes.
It has been a couple of weeks since he has been home, and I still find myself getting up at all hours to check on him. Unable to sleep at night, I find that even when I force myself to be awake during the day time, it is difficult for me to sleep at night. I may have to seek medical help to get past that.
I wonder if my therapist can recommend something.
I don’t know. Maybe the most difficult thing is that some days I think that this is all a dream and that he is going to come marching in the door, say “I want a snack!” and then we are right back where we were a month ago.
Even as he was entering his second year away from home during his last placement, I had trouble sleeping at night. This is really nothing new.
I find myself looking for him during the day time too. Checking if he is in a room he shouldn’t be in. That kind of thing. I hear noises in the house and if I am half asleep, just entering the land of nod, I find myself startled to full awake and looking all over. Sometimes, even shouting his name to get him to come to me.
Ah well. I will adjust. It just takes some time.
While he is in placement, there isn’t a lot to write about. I won’t write about what I learn through the therapy stuff we do with him, as I don’t feel that is right. If he injures himself purposely, or in some way harms another, I will write about that. I don’t know the difference, to me, self injury needs to be brought to the forefront of the human psyche, as I am sure a lot of people have no idea that someone they know could be purposely hurting themselves.
Instead, I will write about things that I think about in regards to having a child like ours. I will write about current events around children’s issues, and mental health awareness. There have been a few things in the news recently that just make me shake my head.
But like I said at the beginning. Having him in placement is an adjustment. Not just for me, but for the whole family.Tweet #fighting4answrs