my Kingdom for…

David has been in placement at the psychiatric residential treatment facility (PRTF) for 6 weeks.

I still find myself keeping odd hours like I am keeping track of what he is doing in the middle of the night. In the evening I doze a bit, and then am up half the night as per the routine when he was home.

Prior to his return home last January, he was gone for more than two years and I still had this pattern of sleep.  Up in the middle of the night, sleep during the day.  I find that I have a difficult time sleeping in a regular bed.  Even when I stay in hotels I tend to sleep on the couch rather than the bed.  Too bad hotels don’t have rooms with just a couch, a tv, and a bathroom.  I don’t need the bed.

I am not sure what the future holds for David.  The odd thing is that even though I know he is safe in the facility, I find myself searching the house at random times looking for him, to get him out of whatever trouble he is getting himself into.

I wonder if I could ever sleep like everyone else.  At night in a bed.  My kingdom for a regular sleep pattern.  On the other hand, maybe this is my regular.  Should just accept it and move on?