Ever Vigilant, Hyper-Vigilant

Vigilant. Hyper-Vigilant.

We had an overnight pass with David over the weekend.

While things went well, there were near constant redirects.  There wasn’t anything that can lay a finger on as saying this is a huge issue.  It was just little stuff.

Rather than bringing him home, with the risk that such a trip entails, at least for overnights, we had a hotel.

The idea of using a hotel was endorsed by the facility.  In fact, they paid for it.

Because we had all of the boys, our hotel room had two queen beds and a pull out.  David and I were on one bed, mom on another and the other two boys on the pullout.

Now, in the past when David has been home, I was the primary parent.  I was awake at night to keep him out of trouble.  And while I didn’t stay awake the whole night, I was always aware of what he was doing. I had to tell him six times to lay back down and go to sleep.  No idea what he was going to get into, and if he had asked to use the bathroom, I would have let him.  He never asked.

Sunday morning, we took him back to the facility.  Not one word was said inquiring how the pass went. No good byes from David.  Not.  A hotel isn’t home.

In the end, I guess the pass was a success.  I can’t live, no, let me correct that, we can’t live in a hyper-vigilant state all of the time.  Life doesn’t work that way.