Category Archives: Decisions

Articles in this category relate to making the decision for the dad to stay home, and the mom or primary care-giver to go back to the workforce.

The State of North Dakota Budget Cuts

We are beginning to see the affects that the budget cuts are having on David’s care here in North Dakota.

State seal of North Dakota
State seal of North Dakota (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


As a part of his ongoing care, I am trying to determine what services will be needed in the community for him to return home.  I am all about long range planning.

One of the key services that we utilized before placement was mentor support.  Where he spent part of a day with a mentor doing things away from the home.  It gave David a break from us and it gave the family a break from David.  Due to the budget cuts that service is largely unavailable for him now.

One mantra that we have heard here in North Dakota is that the budget cuts aren’t affecting people.

I beg to differ.  Not only are the budget cuts affecting people, they have long reaching consequences.  We can’t get a firm detailed list of what services our son would need in the community.  When I ask for such a list, it is rare when I get any form of a response.  This week, the list I received detailed things that we have either received in the past, or tried in the past and determined that David wasn’t a suitable candidate for because of his proclivity for violence.

So what do we do now?

I can’t realistically bring him home if there is a risk of violence. Without supports, community based, school based and home based, we are right back where we were a year ago.

On a side note, David continues to do well, but then he has always done well in care for the most part.  He is showing his tendency to manipulate the people around him, but most of his care team recognizes it for what it is.

Honest emotion

I cried today. I cried while mowing my lawn.  Mowing gives you time to think.  The drone of the mower is perfect for masking thoughts, for allowing them a fertile breeding ground. I cried for David.  For the little boy who wants so desperately to be loved, yet pushes away and punishes those who love… Continue Reading

Was mental illness Blaec Lammers’ only crime? –

Has society gone too far in de-institutionalization? Prison is not the place for our son to get any sort of help with his mental illness. Do I agree with the parents?  Yes.  They were afraid for their son’s life.  Did he deserve prison for this purchase? Do we pro-actively lock away people because they might… Continue Reading

password, password, who knows the password

So now it seems that David has started hacking computers too.  He is changing passwords on his brother’s computer.  Time to use a random password generator instead of a dictionary. On the plus side, David starts with his respite care provider tomorrow.  I think that will be very good for him.  Give him some social… Continue Reading

Parent Teacher Conferences. fear or bravery?

I don’t dread parent teacher conferences for any of my kids.  Mostly because we keep such close touch with their teachers that we aren’t surprised when conferences roll around.  This doesn’t occur with our youngest though since we are home schooling him. Before this Spring, the teachers would quake in fear when they saw my… Continue Reading

flies, cows and pissed off about a concussion

There is a saying… “It only takes one fly to annoy a cow…” So, back in September 2011, my daughter sustained a concussion when she hit her head on the boat dock at the lake. With the latest concussion due to the assault last week, it could be weeks before she recovers.  Currently she is… Continue Reading

How do you do it? and a Thank You

That is the question the psychiatrist asked me today. You have your youngest who pushes limits and senses by verbal and physical action, and you have boys with autism who don’t tolerate the sensory input. “Don’t all children deserve to be loved?” was my response.  “Isn’t it worth it to see them smile and return… Continue Reading

Greetings on a New Day.

As we start week 3 after placement back at home for our youngest, I am struck with awe about how he can be two completely different kids.  There is the David we see when all of the kids are home, and there is the David we see when he is one – on – one… Continue Reading

Day 6 ~ Everything is Frozen

#url# Everything is frozen! 1-2-3 Magic Continue Reading