Category Archives: frustrated

A sad reality – restraint of a mentally ill child

It’s a sad reality.  Our son David is mentally ill.

I know it’s been a while since I last posted.  So much has happened.

On Feb 3, as I was driving into the city for a medical appointment, I received a call from the facility where David was.

“If you don’t come and get him by 1pm, you will be charged with abandonment.”  said the Clinical Director.

I tried to explain that I was on my way to a medical appointment, 100 miles south of the facility. I explained that I had made arrangements to pick him up at 4pm.  Not good enough.

I was given the ultimatum, either pick up your son by 1pm, or be charged.  As a result, I cancelled my appointment, turned around and went to pick him up.

You see, he is well.  Or so they believed.  That’s why his peers want to kill him.

That’s also why his school wants him to be escorted from one class to the next.

Things happened that I can’t talk about yet.

Except the most recent event.  We began to notice a decline in his mental state.   He was refusing to cooperate, refusing to go to class, many many things.  This weekend, things came to a head.
On Monday, he spent nearly 4 hours at school sitting in a room staring at the wall.  Absolutely refusing to do anything.  He didn’t talk, he didn’t eat, he didn’t use the bathroom.  When he got home, he had a snack and we talked about his day.  He was fairly calm.

Suppertime.  We had Mexican food.  Something he loves.

He refused to eat it.  Wanted breakfast cereal.  We try to remain consistent as much as possible so told him either he eats what we made, or he doesn’t eat supper.    He left the table.

We didn’t push it.  A bit later, he became argumentative over the word please.  “You don’t say please,” he stated.

So we started saying please.  He didn’t like that.

He brings home a daily report card from school.  As the evening progressed, and began to decline in mental state, he stood up, shredded that paper and threw it all over the living room.

Mom stood up, approached him, and asked him “Please, pick up all of this paper.”

He was about two feet from her.  Punched her in the chest hard enough to rock her back a step.  He then tore off and went outside.

As I followed at a small distance, he began screaming racial slurs at me.  We don’t speak like he was speaking, and we don’t allow him to either.  He said “keep your nigger bitch away from me.”  and a bit later “keep your fat nigger ass away before I kick it.”

We find the N word to be derogatory.  I don’t like it.  Mom and I are Caucasians.

It was not our son that was screaming those words.  I don’t know who it was.

So we followed the care plan. We called 911.  Within minutes we had Deputies at our house.  Two of them.

Ultimately, he was charged domestic assault.  He was taken away to juvenile detention for safety.  He was taken away in restraints and waist chains. We have been to court twice.  Yesterday we were given 24 hours to find an attorney for him.  Today, he didn’t contest the assault charge and has been held over for 14 days.

It was incredibly difficult for us to tell them that we would not take him home.  It’s not safe.  It’s not safe for us, our family and I would argue our community. Yesterday, the deputy who was transporting him, asked him if he wanted to talk to us for a couple of minutes before they went back to detention.

“No.”  David replied quietly.

So the deputy put the handcuffs on him, buckled up the waist restraint, leaving enough in the back to use as a handle should it become necessary to physically handle our son. They put him in the back seat of the car and hauled him away.

All I really want to do is wrap my arms around him and tell him everything will be okay.

Jail is no place to treat the mentally ill for their conditions.

Update:

We will be back in court on April 4.

we have tried…

We have tried inpatient, we have tried long term psychiatric care, we have tried therapists, counselors, social workers, child psychiatrists, child psychologists. We have tried law enforcement. we have tried…. there isn’t much that we haven’t tried. We have tried different ones of each thinking it might have been a personality issue. He did well… Continue Reading

He gave away my lawnmower.

I opened my garage today, to air up a tire on mom’s cruiser.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered my lawnmower was missing. Yesterday, David had talked about how the neighbor’s lawn mower didn’t cut grass very well. He told mom that the neighbor had a mower that looked a lot like ours. Mom’s wedding… Continue Reading

hacking facebook again

Mr David keeps trying to hack into facebook accounts.  He does it by attempting to reset the password.  Every facebook account in our house sends me an email any time someone attempts to reset the password.  I then ask the account holder if they forgot the password.  Most of the time, it is being requested… Continue Reading

Life, Liberty and the use of a computer

It’s in the past. That is how David responds when we try to talk to him about the threats that he made toward that individual on facebook. “I don’t want to talk about it, because it’s in the past.” It was last Wednesday February 29.  Just because it is in the past doesn’t mean we… Continue Reading

how can any parent kill a child?

I was reading a recent article at thedenverchannel.com about a self-described stay at home father who assaulted his wife and then started a fire in his home in an attempt to kill himself, his kids and the family pet. First, let me start by saying that the average stay at home father has no thoughts… Continue Reading

Calgon take me away… alas it is an exercise in futility

It has been a day already. David was up at 7.  he went to bed at 11 last night, but was up and down all night long. Since then he has been as busy as Roger Rabbit.  Zip from here to there.  When he is like he was last night, it is hard to sleep.… Continue Reading

facebook warning regarding friend requests

Well I got another warning from facebook regarding my friend requests. I have friends on facebook from all over the world.  Some I have met, like when I was stationed in Germany and dated someone who lives there for a while.  But there are also well over 100 people that I have never before met… Continue Reading

winner, winner chicken dinner

Today has been fabulous for our youngest. No behaviors this morning and now we are waiting at the doctor’s office and he is calmly sitting here waiting his turn. No fidget’s no running around, just watching other people interact with each other (which as I explain later can be kind of creepy). This rocks. Even… Continue Reading