Category Archives: bipolar

Second Guesses
Port and lighthouse overnight storm with lightning in Port-la-Nouvelle ~ Maxime Raynal

It’s been a long day, and while my body is tired, I can’t turn off my brain. 

   Prison is no place to get mental health care.

See, This is the second time in a month we have had David’s time in the facility extended.  While we both knew it was a possibility, I can’t help but feel that he is being let down.  I mean, it’s a huge victory for him to continue where he is successful until we can get supports in place for him to come out of the facility, but it’s not easy. In hindsight, I really don’t think David will see it as a victory, at least not until many years down the road.  But it is a victory for him.  For his care.

It’s not easy to tell your child, “You can’t come home yet.”  Even if they know and claim to understand the why of it.  David understands that in order to be successful he needs supports.

I don’t know.  Maybe it is just the Dad’s job to always strive for what’s best for his kids.  David is safe, and that’s what matters.

The future is unknown.  I don’t know how long it is going to take to get the supports necessary in place, but I do know that we aren’t giving up.  We will continue to fight for what David needs in order for him to live a productive life outside of a facility.  Because if we don’t, he will likely just end up in prison.

Prison is no place to get mental health care.

I have not talked with staff in the facility.  They haven’t contacted me.  I did talk briefly with his therapist today, but beyond that, nothing.  To say that our relationship with the facility staff is contentious, would be an understatement.  But, we will continue to work with them to provide David the best life possible until such time as he can leave the facility and enjoy success in whatever form it takes for him.

So I am left with Second Guesses.  It’s not the first time.  I am sure it won’t be the last.

Mr School Van Driver

Good morning my friends.  Hope this note finds you well. Yesterday was an excellent day. This morning, David was in full on mode.  Jumping from topic to topic so quickly that we couldn’t keep up.  In the course of 30 minutes, I bet he talked about 50 different things.  When he is like this there… Continue Reading

Back in the Hospital – was – The Dilemma – What to do with David

This has been something of a roller coaster week. I was in Indianapolis for the National Disability Rights Network annual conference.  Some fantastic networking opportunities.  A lot of great information, fabulous food and weather. At home, David was busy doing what David does. At the top of the list? He forged a check. He was… Continue Reading

Five days in May

So, insurance has said we have five days.  That means on Friday he could be discharged. How frustrated am I? The safety of my family is of utmost importance.  That includes David. The social worker told me that this is what happens in acute care cases. I’d like them to define acute care. Tweet #fighting4answrs Continue Reading

A new fear – Talking with dead friends

Last night was scary.  Not sure what happened exactly, but David is back in the hospital. At 8pm, with his bedtime medicines he gets a snack.  He wanted oatmeal, instead I gave him a granola bar. He said that he would hurt me if I didn’t give him the right snack.  He made a move… Continue Reading

I am bored and this is fun.

Today, I had the rare opportunity to have a frank talk with David.  We talked about everything from sunshine to cats.  We talked about his favorite movie, Heaven is for Real. We talked about dogs, rain, basketball (though I am by no means knowledgeable) and we talked behaviors. We talked about how he likes being… Continue Reading

every day. a struggle

I am exhausted.  Mentally. he will push until I respond.  when I refuse to acknowledge him, he pushes harder. When I snap and yell at him, he is happy.  Then he says, why are you yelling?  You shouldn’t yell like that dad, it’s not healthy. So I tell him to sit and eat. No.  Not… Continue Reading

the storyteller

David is gifted. Gifted at telling stories, then when caught in a lie, he is gifted at changing the story to suit what ever is going on in his head. When caught in a lie, he will turn and twist the story enough to make the listener doubt what they heard. If this happens, you… Continue Reading

Held Hostage by Mental Illness

Some days, I feel like a hostage in my own home. Held hostage by mental illness.  Seriously.  David had a couple of really good days.  Mom took him into the city, he spent time with his favorite Aunt.  Life was good for him. Then there are days like today.  If it isn’t his way, then… Continue Reading

the enemy within

David is his own worst enemy. With the increase in behaviors, our psych team has discussed changing one of his medicines.  We aren’t doing a wholesale med wash like we used to do.  Rather we are increasing one of the stabilizers.   Hopefully we will see a change. When we met with the psych team, I… Continue Reading