Category Archives: help

A foster care themed video review – Removed

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a training event for Trauma Sensitive Schools.  During that training, reference was made to a video on Youtube called “Removed”.   This clip has a theme regarding foster care, as well as child abuse/neglect.

This video is not for the fainthearted.  It is powerful and speaks to child abuse/neglect as well as foster care.  Note that the child carries their belongings in a garbage bag.  There are initiatives that will collect suitcases and rolling bags for kids in foster care so that they don’t have to use garbage bags.

The video is very accurate in it’s portrayal.  I warn you in advance that it may trigger your emotions.  Especially if this video is similar to a life that you led. Typically all of their belongings fit into the one garbage bag.

This is a two part video.  I am linking to part 1 today.  Will post part 2 tomorrow.

Foster care is not a new topic in the world.  Indeed, it has existed in one form or another for as long as there has been a record kept.  In some parts of the world, orphanages still exist.  A place where a child knows little love, no family and how to have many of their needs ignored. (depending on the location/country)

Our son has been in and out of facilities all of his life.  Unlike children in orphanages, he knows we exist.  He can see us, talk to us, hug us when he is willing.

Too often children don’t get that.  Or they suffer the abusive and/or neglectful rampages of the parents in their lives.

Please don’t be that parent.

Foster homes aren’t bad places.  Often they are better than home.  But they are transient in nature.  Rarely do children stay in one for any significant length of time.

You can find this film via Youtube, and on facebook.

Want to make a difference in the life of a child?  Foster one, or adopt one.  Heck, even volunteer as a youth mentor.

Honest emotion

I cried today. I cried while mowing my lawn.  Mowing gives you time to think.  The drone of the mower is perfect for masking thoughts, for allowing them a fertile breeding ground. I cried for David.  For the little boy who wants so desperately to be loved, yet pushes away and punishes those who love… Continue Reading

The Story of Doubting Dad

Dear Why Not Fathers, I know this dad.  He has a son who suffers from mental illness.  Really, the whole family suffers with the mental illness of the child.  No one person in the family is immune to the tragedy that is mental illness. He and his family are literally doing everything that they can… Continue Reading

struggling and happy 3 month anniversary

This post isn’t so much about David as it is about me.  See for a long time, David was in a safe place.  A place where I didn’t have to worry as much.  I could get the weekly reports, I could talk to David, I would take the interceding calls, that told me of some… Continue Reading

It’s not our fault.

Most of my readers know me from facebook.  I am in a number of groups there, and while I would love to list them all here, it would break some aspects of confidentiality for me to do so. What I see most often in the groups that I am a part of is:  “part of… Continue Reading

travels with Carl

It’s me again Margaret.  hehe…   Reminds me of this old Ray Stevens classic.   So anyway.  traveling today, out to see David. We live on the edge of the Bakken oil field.  In order to get to where David is, you have to drive through a portion of the field.  It is mostly Interstate travel. Today… Continue Reading

Identity issues

Since David’s placement I have experieced something of an identity crisis. For a long time our lives were all about him.  David did this. David did that. David needs to see his psychiatrist. David needs a different med. David assaulted so and so. David poisoned the dog. David took.  Somedays I am lost without him… Continue Reading

Section 1 – About a father

Thinking of my family at this late hour.  It is 1am here.  2am back home. I am on vacation and can’t sleep.  All but one family member is at home in Casa de Familia. I was working a night job delivering newspapers.  One night I happened to deliver to a business that had an old… Continue Reading

have i failed as a father?

I feel like a failure. My youngest son has hacked into his brother’s facebook account and threatened to kill someone. And then he lied about doing it, even when confronted by the evidence. How do I learn about this? The victim’s parents called the Sherrif. I don’t blame them. I blame myself. I blame my… Continue Reading

a lunch date with my wife on the morrow

Sweet, my bride and I get to have a couple of hours to ourselves tomorrow.  🙂  Thanks so much Auntie! We are going into the city, doing a little shopping, lunch buy some car parts for my truck, and then come home.  Kind of a late valentines treeat for ourselves. Having three boys on the… Continue Reading