Category Archives: honest answers

Listening to a Parrot.

Yellow naped amazon parrot left side
Yellow naped amazon parrot left side

Ever have the distinct realization that the words coming from your child’s mouth aren’t really his? That you are hearing the parroted version of what others have said? Much like listening to a parrot.

Not that he has multiple personalities or anything.

We had a meeting today, and while we heard from David, it felt forced.  Like he was saying what needed to be said, and not what was actually on his mind.

Follow me?

He used lots of “feeling” words, and that isn’t him.  He didn’t magically grow empathy.  The brain doesn’t work like that.

Leopards Spots

I love my son.  But.  Don’t try to change the leopards spots.  All it does is piss off the cat.

There is a reality that we live in.  As much as we would love to have our son back, it can’t happen without safety.  It can’t happen without him taking ownership of his behaviors.  Consequently, a lot of fancy feeling words and thoughts that make him sound like a therapist just aren’t the solution.

Finally, what goal is achieved by teaching kids a bunch of “feel good” words that they can then just repeat back with the appropriate cues and/or prompting from someone in a position of authority?  This is not to say that the work being done there isn’t valid.  I am just wondering about the validity with my David.  There might have been a time in the past when it would have worked with him, but I think that we are beyond that.  He knows too much about how to game the system to achieve the goals he has in his mind.  Goals we will never be able to comprehend if we live to be 100 years old.

Therefore, a reason exists for everything that he does.   Every action has a goal and purpose.

And so, don’t try to change the leopards spots. All it does is piss off the cat.  Much like listening to a parrot, it has no real purpose.

visited my son tonight

I went to see my son tonight. He wants to know when he can come home from the hospital.  Nothing about the other night.  When I asked him why he wants to come home, it was all about missing the trip to Bismarck with his mentor that he does once a week. Nothing about the… Continue Reading

Reactive Attachment Disorder – a diagnosis

Turns out, all this time I thought that David was diagnosed with RAD.  Nope. Well he is now.  Frustrating when people remove and add diagnoses without letting the family know. He has Autism, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, AdHd,  and quite a few others.  Reactive Attachment Disorder *RAD” is now one of his Axis I diagnoses.… Continue Reading


What is it like to live in fear? Having never lived in a war zone, or been active in a war zone, I can’t say that our experience compares to that. What I can say is this. Living day to day on edge constantly because you don’t know from one minute to the next what… Continue Reading

David and his irrational beliefs

David. Fixates on things. So when he asked about discharge from the facility he is in, I explained that before he could be discharged, a facility needed to be identified and either restructured or added on to, in order to house a child with Autism. Evidently he is under the belief that he is being… Continue Reading

Identity issues

Since David’s placement I have experieced something of an identity crisis. For a long time our lives were all about him.  David did this. David did that. David needs to see his psychiatrist. David needs a different med. David assaulted so and so. David poisoned the dog. David took.  Somedays I am lost without him… Continue Reading

bingo, we have a winner – update from the hospital

Well yesterday, we took our youngest to the hospital and admitted him to the psych unit.   Today I got a call from the doctor in the ward.  He asked me why we had not been giving David his medicines. When I explained that we had been giving them to him four times a day, and… Continue Reading

how do you do it each day?

Each day moves forward without prompting. We start when the rest of the kids leave the house.  8am – four kids off to school. 8:30 breakfast and clean up 9:00 play time 9:30 exercise period 10:00 study math 10:30 break 11:00 spelling lessons 11:30 – 1 lunch 1pm grammar and reading. 1:30pm. done for the… Continue Reading

Our School District made the news!!! Updated

Update February 12, 2012 An update.  In chatting with news people, it was explained to me how the story is reported.  Since the report from the Sheriff Department reported it as an accident, the news people felt that there really wasn’t a lot else to report. I can see where they would say that.  And… Continue Reading

they requested what?

So today, in the midst of the chaos of trying to figure out what the best path is for my family, I got a call from our state Department of Public Instruction.  (DPI) A couple of days ago, I mentioned on my blog that I was submitting a request for a facilitated IEP to the… Continue Reading