Category Archives: mental health. stress

Adoption – Misapplication of the Paintbrush

Adoption.

It can be a trigger for negative behavior.

Here is a hint.  – Not everyone who is adopted is like my son David.

Adoption Barnstar
Adoption Barnstar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Not everyone who is adopted has mental health issues.

Just because someone is adopted, doesn’t automatically require them to seek psychiatric help.

Labeling people for any reason is just not good practice.

How would you like it if those who are adopted said that every school administrator was in need of a psychiatric evaluation just because they are a school administrator?

You know?  if every parent whispers conspiratorially with other parents “they are a school principal and need to be evaluated for mental defect.”

I bet school administrators would get defensive quickly.

Why should it be any different for parents to get defensive when an administrator uses the fact that a child is adopted as a reason to seek psychiatric evaluations for that child?  I have no doubt that you have other reasons for determining that a child needs a mental health evaluation.  In fact, I applaud that you are looking out for the children in your care.

Professionals need to be above board in their handling of any situation with a person who they suspect has a mental health issue.   This is especially true in instances that occur in the academic community.

Kids are fragile and impressionable.

In addition, that kid you whispered about being adopted?  Maybe they don’t know that they are adopted…  What happens if you tell a child they are adopted when they have had no inclination of the notion that they are adopted?  Children are already struggling with identity issues simply by being children.  They are forging their personal identity and personality while in your care, in some cases, these things are fragile already. How does outing them as adopted help their search for identity?

In cases where a child is obviously a different race, such as with our son David, the child could be aware that they are adopted.  However, the decision to out the child as adopted isn’t yours to make as an administrator.  Is it?

As a school administrator, you should be held to a higher standard.

You and your teachers spend a significant amount of time in the lives of the children entrusted to your care.  They deserve to be treated with dignity.  Regardless of the makeup of their family, it is your job to ensure that they are treated with dignity.  You would expect no less for yourself.  Would you?

Adoption, by itself, is no reason for a mental health evaluation.  I know a number of people who are adopted, including myself, who are adopted.  Do we all need mental health evaluations?

By your logic, because we are adopted, we need one.

The State of North Dakota Budget Cuts

We are beginning to see the affects that the budget cuts are having on David’s care here in North Dakota.   As a part of his ongoing care, I am trying to determine what services will be needed in the community for him to return home.  I am all about long range planning. One of… Continue Reading

Don’t read this post

I have received flack about my writing. From many sources. Why? Because I am causing my son a lifetime of pain and misery by writing about his situation. Really? Do you think that I have not struggled with what I put out here?  I mean seriously.  If the worst thing I wrote about was the… Continue Reading

God, Grant Me Strength

So, evidently, a majority of David’s team at the Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility (PRTF) thinks that he is ready to come home. Never mind the self-harming and manic episodes from last month.  Never mind the negative behaviours or need for him to have a highly structured environment. So while his Mother and I don’t think… Continue Reading

Explosive Visit With David Today.

We saw David today.  The plan was a two hour visit.  We were there 20 minutes. The argument started because David decided that he wanted to be obstinate.  I was getting the situation defused when David decided that he was done with the visit and took off down the hallway.  I had to go after… Continue Reading

An update on David.

We are still here.  WhyNotFathers.com has been largely quiet because there hasn’t been a lot to say. That has changed. David’s behavior is becoming more erratic.  The residence has undergone a med wash with him.  A med wash is where they take him off all of his meds and put him on new ones. This… Continue Reading

Can a marriage survive a special needs child?

How about a family that has more than one child with special needs? While I can’t speak for every family, I would say that a marriage can survive, but… always a but.. There has to be communication. What follows is my 10 point list for marriage with special needs kids in the family. Communication Private… Continue Reading

Like a dove taking flight for the first time

When is your child old enough?  at 18?  when they go to college? At some point we all have to let our children go. Go off in the world and make successes and errors of their own.  Hope that the way they were raised prevents unexpected developments, jail sentences and things of that nature. It… Continue Reading

have i failed as a father?

I feel like a failure. My youngest son has hacked into his brother’s facebook account and threatened to kill someone. And then he lied about doing it, even when confronted by the evidence. How do I learn about this? The victim’s parents called the Sherrif. I don’t blame them. I blame myself. I blame my… Continue Reading

go go Gadgets, off to the races, get your motor running

Well, our David is going, going, gone… he has been running around all morning.  Still going, trying to get him to settle down. Meds are not working just now.  So gave him his lunch medicine and some lunch, we will see what the afternoon brings. When he can’t get settled, it makes homework impossible.  Well… Continue Reading