Category Archives: social skills

Attention Seeking RAD

I tend to forget, and I shouldn’t.

Every action is designed to get attention.

Every behavior is designed to get attention.

I asked him this morning, “what do you gain from this behavior?”

His answer?  “I don’t know”



I wish that he did.  I would much rather award positive behavior, than the negative that we have been seeing.  Still, everything considered he is doing better than before he went to the residential facility.  Of course, are are nearing the end of what is typically the honeymoon period.  His honeymoon typically lasts 6 weeks.


Last night I was giving him his meds, he had a glass of water.  he acted like it was slipping out of his hand, water sloshing around, above the rim… nearly soaked my laptop.  So I called him on it.  Thus beginning an hour of negative behaviors.  All because I told him to set his water down and take a drink between pills.  This gave me time to move my laptop.

On the way to the kitchen, he “accidentally” poured his water all over the floor.


I am going to try to ignore his behaviors.  Since he wants attention when he does these things.  It isn’t easy.  David and I spend as much as 10 hours a day together.  5 of which there is no one else around.  My health doesn’t give me a lot of energy to “play”.  I have been gradually letting him go for walks with the dogs.


One other thing.  When he is called on his behavior he says things like “there is no need for retaliation.”

Or if I tell him to sit down, and then later ask him to do something he says “but you told me I had to sit down…”

Or if I tell him I am calling someone, like the doctor or his care coordinator, he asks if he can pack a bag, because he “knows that he is going to be placed in the hospital.”  If I call, it is because I need to arrange an appointment or something.  In case of the care coordinator, it is because I need to update her on how things are going.

Seems to me that his life is worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy.


honesty doesnt make us bad parentsIn the end, we love him, he is our son.  Not giving up.  Though he seems to think that we are giving up when we place him in a facility….  ah, life is such a tragedy.

I give him a hug.  I tell him how much he means to us.  That we love him.

Oh my, we are late for his appointment… make everyday a good day.  Hug your loved ones.


working on non-profit status

We have been mostly quiet here at Why Not Fathers.  Rest assured things have been busy. Currently we are working on incorporating Why Not Fathers as a non-profit.  We are hoping that this will open up opportunities for speaking and further engagement. Potential speaking engagements include the following topics: fatherhood adoption – both as a… Continue Reading

Homeschool help and more

As we wait for the Facilitated IEP to be scheduled, we are homeschooling David, our youngest.  There are numerous websites that can be used to help facilitate the education of your child. Two of the better sites: (I remember watching these when I was a kid, so was very happy to… Continue Reading

Me Parent – You Child and a Brunch Date

So today has been one of those wonderful days. Mostly calm and relaxing. The youngest had a date with his mentor, so we hiked to another town 30 miles from here to drop him with the mentor.  Got a brunch date with my lovely bride… 🙂 so rare that this happens, cherish the moments.  Went… Continue Reading

winner, winner chicken dinner

Today has been fabulous for our youngest. No behaviors this morning and now we are waiting at the doctor’s office and he is calmly sitting here waiting his turn. No fidget’s no running around, just watching other people interact with each other (which as I explain later can be kind of creepy). This rocks. Even… Continue Reading

Lies, Lies I tell you….

Good morning friends. I am getting sick.  Having Lupus, Fibromyalgia and Hypothyroidism, this means that I need to be proactive in fighting the infection.  Uggh… this means that I need to lengthen the amount of  rest I get as well as increase my liquid intake. Hopefully the prednisone I am taking will bolster my bodies… Continue Reading

Day 10 ~ the truth shall set you free

This morning started out fabulous.  David was well rested, I was fairly well rested, and we were up on time to see everyone else off to school. I first give David quiet time in the morning, gives him a chance to get himself in sync with the day.  This morning was no different, after a… Continue Reading

Day 9 ~ A long night, a short day, exhausted

David, our youngest was up and down most of the night with his cough.  Poor guy sounds like he is going to cough up a lung or something.  So I spent the night monitoring him to make sure he was ok.  Long night.  His breathing finally calmed around 5 am so I got to sleep… Continue Reading

Day 8 ~ snot today I tell you, don’t suck it in, blow!

Autism and a sick child. school prinicipal and the counselor. ewww how gross Continue Reading

Day 7 ~ A wake up and PWN from the school

Good morning friends… Well, actually it is afternoon, but I have been up and about for about 6 hours. Cheers to you on this glorious morning. A couple of things to start our day. Last night, David had an incredible meltdown, his first since being in the residential facility.  I admit, I did not handle… Continue Reading