Tag Archives: accountability

Risk Assessment – Hope, Dreams and Fear

Hope

We had David’s monthly staffing today.  It is always our strongest hope that he will do well each month that he is there.

He is doing well, but then he always does well in facility based care.  He gets the things that he wants, he has staff around him all the time to support him.  He has access to mini-bikes, horses, a pool with a water slide, new clothes and shoes whenever he wants them.  All things we don’t have access to at home.  Except clothes. We can do clothes.  Just not the name brand stuff he prefers.  Nike, Adidas and others.

Fear

My readers may remember last summer and the struggles we went through with David.  To ensure the safety of the whole family, including David.  The incident when he tried to crash our van, to where he threatened to kill me with a piece of wood, to where he tried to hit me with a shovel.  We were told that we weren’t doing enough, so we ramped up services for him.  In home therapy once a week, increased mentor hours and a lot of mileage to take him to appointments and therapies. Our fear is having to relive those events in any way.

Today they said that he should be home before winter.

Where does that leave the family?  I have two other kids at home yet that I am concerned about.  Plus my bride and I.  There is more at risk here than what these people understand.

Sure he is doing well.  now.  he always does.

An enlargeable map of the 53 counties of the s...
An enlargeable map of the 53 counties of the state of North Dakota (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With the budget cuts in the state of North Dakota, mentor hours have been cut, not sure yet about in home therapy.  The staffing that he needs isn’t available where we live, or any where else for that matter.

Do I want him to come home?  Honestly?  Yes.  and.  No.  Yes, because he is my son.  No because it is dangerous.

Dreams

Earlier this week we had an evaluation done by a renowned specialist in Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.  We hope to have the results of his analysis next week.  He did say that David needs long term support.  That we need to think 10 years ahead.  So our dreams revolve around what happens.  In three short years David will be an adult.  What happens then?

10 Years from now, I would like him to be living independently with supports.  I would like to see him working a job.

Fears

My fear is that one day David will be out, and do something that requires interaction with law enforcement.  They won’t understand what they are dealing with, because they won’t KNOW what they are dealing with.  And he will be killed.

Risk Assessment

I have to approach this like a risk assessment.  Balance the pros and cons.  Sure he deserves the chance to try, but doesn’t the rest of the family deserve the continued freedom from a constant threat of violence and fear?

Informal Adjustment Conference aka Juvenile Court

Today we received notice of a conference with a Judicial Referee regarding two of the charges that David has accumulated this summer.  The others include multiple charges of unruly, forgery, and theft of property. I shared it with David, because until now he seems to think that he is immune to action against him for… Continue Reading

David is conning them.

David is coming home today. Yesterday he shared that he was thinking about killing himself. Today he denied telling me that. Today he is coming home. I expressed my frustration as kindly as I could to the social worker. She claims to understand.  But does she? Does she understand what it is to fear becoming… Continue Reading

Every Parent of a Mentally Ill Child Has This Fear

I don’t know how it is in most families, I just know in mine, this is our fear.  That David will stop responding to his meds, and then be seen as a threat by law enforcement. Once he turns 18, we will have little ability to ensure that he takes his medications, unless we get… Continue Reading