Tag Archives: adoption

Adoption – Misapplication of the Paintbrush

Adoption.

It can be a trigger for negative behavior.

Here is a hint.  – Not everyone who is adopted is like my son David.

Adoption Barnstar
Adoption Barnstar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Not everyone who is adopted has mental health issues.

Just because someone is adopted, doesn’t automatically require them to seek psychiatric help.

Labeling people for any reason is just not good practice.

How would you like it if those who are adopted said that every school administrator was in need of a psychiatric evaluation just because they are a school administrator?

You know?  if every parent whispers conspiratorially with other parents “they are a school principal and need to be evaluated for mental defect.”

I bet school administrators would get defensive quickly.

Why should it be any different for parents to get defensive when an administrator uses the fact that a child is adopted as a reason to seek psychiatric evaluations for that child?  I have no doubt that you have other reasons for determining that a child needs a mental health evaluation.  In fact, I applaud that you are looking out for the children in your care.

Professionals need to be above board in their handling of any situation with a person who they suspect has a mental health issue.   This is especially true in instances that occur in the academic community.

Kids are fragile and impressionable.

In addition, that kid you whispered about being adopted?  Maybe they don’t know that they are adopted…  What happens if you tell a child they are adopted when they have had no inclination of the notion that they are adopted?  Children are already struggling with identity issues simply by being children.  They are forging their personal identity and personality while in your care, in some cases, these things are fragile already. How does outing them as adopted help their search for identity?

In cases where a child is obviously a different race, such as with our son David, the child could be aware that they are adopted.  However, the decision to out the child as adopted isn’t yours to make as an administrator.  Is it?

As a school administrator, you should be held to a higher standard.

You and your teachers spend a significant amount of time in the lives of the children entrusted to your care.  They deserve to be treated with dignity.  Regardless of the makeup of their family, it is your job to ensure that they are treated with dignity.  You would expect no less for yourself.  Would you?

Adoption, by itself, is no reason for a mental health evaluation.  I know a number of people who are adopted, including myself, who are adopted.  Do we all need mental health evaluations?

By your logic, because we are adopted, we need one.

For those Dad’s who played a role in my life

    When we adopted our youngest, we did an adoption study. We had to write a bio and answer a ton of questions. Growing up, I had step-dad’s. My brother and I were adopted. Bio-Dad was in prison. Mom doesn’t acknowledge that period of her life. For those Dad’s who played a role in… Continue Reading

Pictures in my mind

Recently a picture that was posted in my Dad Blogger group on facebook triggered a memory from when David was very little.  We didn’t know that he would eventually become our son.  I was holding David, he had fallen asleep.  Before I knew it, I was sleeping.  I woke when he fussed.  It is a… Continue Reading

Believing in the reason of David

As we come up on the 12th anniversary of the finalization of David’s adoption into our family, I look back on our life with him. From the first computer he ever worked on, a Compaq laptop running Windows 2000, to the many sleepless nights. I am struck by one inalienable concept. We were brought into… Continue Reading

Reactive Attachment Disorder

I found this video through a group I belong to on facebook.  It explains so much about children like our son David. Not every adopted child will be afflicted with this disorder, though quite a few are.  I did not create the video.  I don’t claim ownership of the video.  I am merely sharing content… Continue Reading

nights like this

I have to wonder… “Is this behavior that of a 13 year old boy, or his mental health?” See our other two boys didn’t give us all the sass, back talk, attitude and behaviors.  Or maybe I just don’t remember the behaviors because we were so busy dealing with David’s issues. Not sure if that… Continue Reading

Traditional vs. Non-Traditional Families

Last week, someone asked me if I was David’s grandfather.  This in itself isn’t a bad thing.  In the past when people have questioned David’s parentage, I have simply said that he is adopted.  Which is true. What is wrong with the idea that a white person would have an African-American son? Or even the… Continue Reading