Tag Archives: mediation

In Sickness and in Health

When my bride and I got married, that was a part of our vows.  As I am sure it was for most of our readers.

It seems to me that when we have children there is an implied vow “in sickness and in health”.

I don’t know of any parent who wouldn’t gladly switch places with their child who has a life threatening illness.

In the last weeks before we placed David, I heard a lot about how he was affecting my health.  And it is true, he was having a major impact on my health.  You see, I have a couple of different illnesses; illnesses that react in a negative fashion when confronted with Stress.

If I could somehow fix David by giving every ounce of good health that I had, I would do so.  In a heartbeat.  No question about it.

However.  When he started to drain the health of the other children in the household, I couldn’t just let it go.  Does that make sense?

David deserves this opportunity to learn ways to control his behavior. His disability is no excuse for him to behave the way he does.  I won’t let him use that as an excuse for him to do whatever he wants to do.  He can control it.

You see, David is missing the connections to that part of his brain that make him human.  That core area that controls emotion, impulsiveness, everything that differentiates humans from most other creatures.   Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not calling my son an animal.  Far from it.  If he could learn to control his behavior, he can function in society without those connections.

Not having these connections doesn’t make him less human.  It doesn’t make him an animal.  It makes him different.  It is just as disabling as any other mental illness.  Couple this with his obsessive compulsive disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or any of the other handful of diagnoses that he has been given in the past 4 years, and he is just as disabled as I am.  His disability is hidden.

I have been told that my illnesses are all in my head, in David’s case that is very true.  No magic pill exists that can cure it.  In my case, we can control my illnesses to an extent with medication.

It has been a month since we started this latest journey toward placement, first he had two weeks in safe bed, followed by a period at home, followed by most of a week in psychiatric care at the hospital.  I am gradually getting my sleep pattern back to what I would consider the usual.  I am very slowly getting my health back, though I appear to be developing a flare-up of my Lupus.

The other kids in the house are recovering as well.  Yet, we miss David.

I don’t know any parent who wouldn’t give everything of themselves to make life better for their child.  Sure we read about it in the news, mom kills kids, or dad kills kids… and it saddens me to my very core to read those stories.  If they want to be rid of the joy that is a child, then they should bring their child to me, or another parent who would gladly raise them as their own.

In Sickness and in Health, I love my children.

 

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mediation results

We had mediation today.  Wasn’t too thrilled with the mediator, but not any choice in the matter. In the end, we let them know that we are pursuing a residential placement for our son. Until that happens, we are going to pursue a day treatment program, which is what the school has wanted since last… Continue Reading

holy meltdown time Batman

We just had the mother of all meltdowns.  Haven’t seen one this bad for a long time.  He attempted to attack his older sister, and then went into full off complaint mode talking so fast no one could understand him.  After which he started to attack me.  I ended up laying him on his belly… Continue Reading

an interesting week plus other stuff.

Well, the staff for the mediator has been in touch with us.  We are looking at the end of July, first part of August for the meeting. Before the meeting can take place, we have to have a half hour long orientation. According to the mediator staff the meeting will take place in the Garrison… Continue Reading

Service Plans Part II

So earlier today, I asked the superintendent and two other people from outside the district what language and information the Service Plan requires. The Superintendent told me to ask my wife.  (my wife is a special education teacher who has never seen a service plan for an IEP that is not academic in nature. Our… Continue Reading

Mediation request rebuttal

This post is kind of long… my apologies We go back to Davidh 30, 2011. and here. April 2011 – IEP Meeting to review “placement options” for student. April 2011 –starting here and here. April 2011 – Prior Written Notice – Parent places student in CAPH day treatment program Meeting with child psychologist after David… Continue Reading

Mediation Request – the schools perspective

You may remember about two months ago the school requested a facilitated IEP. I am not going to include the whole document, just parts that I need to rebut.  This will allow me to develop a response when I file our request for Mediation.  I will also file a request for Due Process hearing at… Continue Reading