Tag Archives: reactive attachment disorder

He is not a yo-yo

He is not a yo-yo.

You know that right?

Yesterday he was granted an extension on his stay in the facility.  This was done so that we could apply for therapeutic foster care.

Today, I guess that we were denied, though I am not entirely sure.  What I do know is that I was told David is being discharged tomorrow.  He is in, he is out, he is in, he is out.  It’s not healthy for him to be jerked around like this, and in truth, it’s not healthy for the family.

He will get maybe 6 hours a week of mentor time and they said something about 6 overnights a month.  I have asked for clarification, none has been forthcoming as of yet.  It’s that yo-yo effect, consistency is what is necessary, not the illusion of consistency.

I swear, it’s like being in the movie Groundhog Day. 

Cover of "Groundhog Day (15th Anniversary...
Cover via Amazon

So David is coming home to a minimum amount of support.  He comes a place where he gets 24/7 support.  I pray that we can maintain a successful stream of steady care for him, not stress his world or ours in ways that cause his violent tendencies to surface we will be okay.  However; when he gets caught stealing and we confront him about that, it can cause his aggressive personality to show it’s face to the world.

At this point I don’t know what else to do.

While I would love to have him home permanently, without supports I don’t know how long it will last.  When he steals things from the people in his life, he will be charged with theft.  The same will occur if he assaults one of us, or anyone else, he will be charged.

Using the legal system to get him the help he needs goes against everything in my mind that tells me what is appropriate for a mentally ill child. Using the legal system in this way is a lot like playing with a yo-yo.

It’s going to be hit or miss as to whether or not it will be effective.  We can only try. I expect that we will see stability for the first few weeks at least, after which, I pray we can continue to maintain stability for David .  If you pray, and believe in the power of prayer, include our son and our family in your prayers.

 

Fourth and Goal – I feel like we are in the Super Bowl.  I don’t follow football as a rule, so I had to look up the reference for “Fourth and Goal”.  To be clear, I don’t consider this a game.  David’s life, our family’s life is not a game.  We didn’t sign up for… Continue Reading

Less than 24 hours and a wake up

Less than 24 hours and a wake up from now, barring some intervention, David will be home. He will come home from a supported environment where he has constant supervision, consistent support, and success in school, to home. Home where we can’t recreate the level of support he has now. Where we will live on… Continue Reading

The Hard Decision

I title this post “The Hard Decision” because we have had to make a difficult decision. We made the decision to not bring David home on pass. An expert in David’s disorder has recommended for safety reasons that David not come home. So we have made the decision to refuse passes.  At 15, as much… Continue Reading

SMI and the Tragedy of Adulthood

SMI – Serious Mental Illness The National Survey on Drug Use and Health  (NSDUH), which defines SMI (Serious Mental Illness) as: A mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder (excluding developmental and substance use disorders); Diagnosable currently or within the past year; Of sufficient duration to meet diagnostic criteria specified within the 4th edition of the Diagnostic… Continue Reading

Safety, a blanket I want to wrap around my family.

Safety. the website dictionary.com defines safety as: noun, plural safeties. 1. the state of being safe; freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury, danger, or loss. 2. the quality of averting or not causing injury, danger, or loss. 3. a contrivance or device to prevent injury or avert danger. This weekend we are bringing… Continue Reading

most of 36 hours with no attitude.

We had most of 36 hours with no attitude. Attitude started this morning a little bit before mom and brothers came home.  plateaued and then escalated quickly at bedtime. David says, “I am mentally unstable, can you just take me to the hospital?” No, is my reply  So he starts pushing buttons.  In the end,… Continue Reading

Reactive Attachment Disorder

I found this video through a group I belong to on facebook.  It explains so much about children like our son David. Not every adopted child will be afflicted with this disorder, though quite a few are.  I did not create the video.  I don’t claim ownership of the video.  I am merely sharing content… Continue Reading

progress of sorts

David has been home for most of 10 days. Has it been perfect? No. Do I expect perfection? No. I am proud of the changes that I am seeing in him. Does he still have mental health issues? Yes.  He is not cured.  Not by any means. For now, I will take it. We are… Continue Reading